Dating while your married

"Now I remind him to make a mental change from work travel mode to fun vacation mode when we take family trips," says Michelle.

When your husband complains, be a good listener, but only for a few minutes, says Bowman.

Buying insurance turned out to be the smarter spending strategy.

dating while your married-1

But here's the thing: Your husband may not even know why you're mad, says Lombardo.

"Sit him down, take a deep breath and say: 'Here's what happened and here's why it upset me. '"But don't hold your partner accountable for others' actions, just as you wouldn't want to be on the hook for something your mom or best friend did.

That's what *Michelle from Oregon had to do after her husband groused about little things on a family trip, like stepping off the airport security line so their son could finish a drink he couldn't take to the gate.

Michelle confronted him about the behavior, and they both acknowledged that he was struggling with separating his intense business trips from laid-back getaways.

He may not realize he's being a downer, so after he has his say, point out the bright side and then tell him it's time to switch gears, she suggests.

The fight: "You only show affection when you want to fool around.""The interpretation is he's using you for your body," says Lombardo, even though that's likely not the case. Without consistent affection, though, a woman might not feel consistently loved."Whether it's how late a teen can stay out or how much money to give her, don't cave just because your child wants an answer immediately."The fight: "You spend too much money." Or "You're too cheap."Before you get into a spending spat, think about your spouse's motivations.According to Lombardo, "a spender may want to enjoy their hard work, while a saver wants to feel safe." Still, whatever money matter is important to you, don't keep it bottled up.*Monica from Detroit, MI, says her husband still thanks her for picking a fight about purchasing long-term-care insurance years ago. Ten years later, the prices have exploded and the generous policy we bought then isn't offered anymore," she says. She compared the costs of not having insurance (like what nursing homes may charge decades from now) to having it.The fight: "You can't let your family/friends treat me like that!"It's inevitable that an in-law or one of your hubby's buddies will offend at some point, and your partner's failure to defend you might leave you fuming."Assertively but kindly ask, 'Honey, could you empty the dishwasher? "We don't think we should have to make these simple requests. Your first step: Try to figure out the source of your hubby's doctor-avoidance, says Puhn.

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